Alright, I keep hearing talk and such about Chuck Norris against Bruce Lee so I am going to simulate the fight with lots of awesome pictures. While you are looking please note that when Chuck Norris does a push-up, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the universe down.....
Ladies and gentlemen: the heavy weight awesome guy of the world, CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......
...and the challenger..............BRRRRRRUUUUCCCE LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! (crowd booing)
Round 1: Fight!
They get off at an explosive start, punching and kicking back and forth.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner!
With a powerful roundhouse kick to the face, Chuck Norris takes the win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(crowd cheering)
This proves that Chuck Norris is a great fighter, and a great actor (Him getting beat by Bruce in the movie was just acting).
Friday, May 22, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Chuckstianity
A new religion is sweeping the Internet and northern Texas. It is called Chuckstianity!
Chuckstianity is a religion that you must worship, practise, and act like everything that is Chuck Norris. Some of the practices and beliefs are shown below:
-must practise roundhouse kick 3 times a day.
-chuckists must grow and maintain beards
-Wear cowboy hats and have a deadly weapon on you at all times: Your fists!
Beliefs:
-An afterlife of just doing what you want in Crawford, Texas.
-That they have connections with Chuck's two legs: law and order (law is left and order is right)
- They believe the universe was formed by Chuck punching out half of the sun and the crumbs hardened and became planets.
Chucks Ten Commandments:
Chuckstianity is a religion that you must worship, practise, and act like everything that is Chuck Norris. Some of the practices and beliefs are shown below:
-must practise roundhouse kick 3 times a day.
-chuckists must grow and maintain beards
-Wear cowboy hats and have a deadly weapon on you at all times: Your fists!
Beliefs:
-An afterlife of just doing what you want in Crawford, Texas.
-That they have connections with Chuck's two legs: law and order (law is left and order is right)
- They believe the universe was formed by Chuck punching out half of the sun and the crumbs hardened and became planets.
Chucks Ten Commandments:
- Thou shalt not doubt Chuck Norris’ fighting ability.
- Thou shalt not utter falsities about Chuck Norris.
- Thou shalt watch thy back in Texas.
- Thou shalt vote Huckabee.
- Thou shalt heartily accept roundhouse kicks.
- When visiting Chuck Norris, thou shalt use his toilet paper.
- Thou shalt proclaim the manliness of Chuck Norris’ beard.
- Thou shalt pay homage to the Texas Ranger badge.
- Thou shalt visit the official website.
- Thou shalt accept the fact that Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Chuck Norris's awards
Chuck Norris has won many awards over his spectacular life. Here are they in Chronological order:
1.Award: Special Award
Year of winning: 1982
Category: Action star of the year
Reason: For being in action movies
2. Award: Special Award
Year of Winning: 1992
Category:International box office star of the year.
3.Award: BMI TV music award
Year: 1997
Reason: Walker: Texas Ranger
4.Award:Special award
Year:1997
Reason: Texas Legend
5.Award: BMI TV music award
Year: 1998
Reason:Walker: Texas ranger
6. Award: TV guide award
Year: 1999
Reason: Favourite actor in a drama for Walker: Texas Ranger
7. Award: BMI TV music award
Year: 1999
Reason: Walker: Texas Ranger
8. Award: Golden Boot
Year: 2001
Category: Best Actor/ "tough guy" persona.
1.Award: Special Award
Year of winning: 1982
Category: Action star of the year
Reason: For being in action movies
2. Award: Special Award
Year of Winning: 1992
Category:International box office star of the year.
3.Award: BMI TV music award
Year: 1997
Reason: Walker: Texas Ranger
4.Award:Special award
Year:1997
Reason: Texas Legend
5.Award: BMI TV music award
Year: 1998
Reason:Walker: Texas ranger
6. Award: TV guide award
Year: 1999
Reason: Favourite actor in a drama for Walker: Texas Ranger
7. Award: BMI TV music award
Year: 1999
Reason: Walker: Texas Ranger
8. Award: Golden Boot
Year: 2001
Category: Best Actor/ "tough guy" persona.
Joke-of-the-week
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Chuck Norris has many favourite pass times. These include killing movie directors, slaughtering movie directors, and spending time at the old folks home. On every other Saturday he is watching his movies and remembering all the time he spent perfecting the roundhouse kick. He also remembers his golden days of karate aka: owning young people. What do you think is Chucks most famous possession or ability? Post comments, I want to hear them.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Here is my own biography on Chuck Norris and his movies:
Chuck Norris is an Executive Producer of "Walker, Texas Ranger" (1993) as well as the star. Norris is familiar to fans worldwide as the star of action films such as The Hitman (1991), The Delta Force (1986) and Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990). He also starred in Missing in Action (1984) and its sequels, Firewalker (1986) and Sidekicks (1992). Norris was born Carlos Ray in Ryan, OK. The eldest of three children, he helped his mother raise his two younger brothers in Torrance, CA, where his family moved when he was 12. Norris joined the Air Force after graduating from high school. During a stint in Korea, he began to study the Asian martial art of Tang Soo Do. After returning home, he worked for Northrop Aviation and moonlighted as a karate instructor. Two years later he was teaching full-time and running a number of martial-arts schools. His students included Steve McQueen, Priscilla Presley and the Osmonds. In 1968, he became the Professional World Middleweight Karate Champion, holding the title undefeated until he retired in 1974. He is a black belt in Tang Soo Do and Tae Kwan Do, both Korean fighting arts, and knows all forms of the martial arts. In 1969, he earned the Triple Crown for the highest number of tournament wins, and was named Fighter of the Year by "Black Belt" magazine. By the time he was 34, Norris had established 32 karate schools and had been a champion for six years. In 1996, he became the first Westerner to be awarded an eighth-degree black belt in Tae Kwan Do. Norris, who was urged to get into acting by his friend Steve McQueen, skillfully incorporates his martial-arts knowledge into his series and feature film projects, stressing action and technique over violence. He is the author of the books "The Secret of Inner Strength" and "The Secret Power Within - Zen Solutions to Real Problems". He works for many charities, including the Funds for Kids, Veterans Administration National Salute to Hospitalized Veterans, the United Way, Make-a-Wish Foundation and KickStart, a nonprofit organization he created to help battle drugs and violence in schools. He also starred in the television movie Bound by Honor (1993), broadcast on CBS. He lives on a ranch when not filming. His birthday is March 10. I got this information from www.imbd.com
Chuck Norris is an Executive Producer of "Walker, Texas Ranger" (1993) as well as the star. Norris is familiar to fans worldwide as the star of action films such as The Hitman (1991), The Delta Force (1986) and Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990). He also starred in Missing in Action (1984) and its sequels, Firewalker (1986) and Sidekicks (1992). Norris was born Carlos Ray in Ryan, OK. The eldest of three children, he helped his mother raise his two younger brothers in Torrance, CA, where his family moved when he was 12. Norris joined the Air Force after graduating from high school. During a stint in Korea, he began to study the Asian martial art of Tang Soo Do. After returning home, he worked for Northrop Aviation and moonlighted as a karate instructor. Two years later he was teaching full-time and running a number of martial-arts schools. His students included Steve McQueen, Priscilla Presley and the Osmonds. In 1968, he became the Professional World Middleweight Karate Champion, holding the title undefeated until he retired in 1974. He is a black belt in Tang Soo Do and Tae Kwan Do, both Korean fighting arts, and knows all forms of the martial arts. In 1969, he earned the Triple Crown for the highest number of tournament wins, and was named Fighter of the Year by "Black Belt" magazine. By the time he was 34, Norris had established 32 karate schools and had been a champion for six years. In 1996, he became the first Westerner to be awarded an eighth-degree black belt in Tae Kwan Do. Norris, who was urged to get into acting by his friend Steve McQueen, skillfully incorporates his martial-arts knowledge into his series and feature film projects, stressing action and technique over violence. He is the author of the books "The Secret of Inner Strength" and "The Secret Power Within - Zen Solutions to Real Problems". He works for many charities, including the Funds for Kids, Veterans Administration National Salute to Hospitalized Veterans, the United Way, Make-a-Wish Foundation and KickStart, a nonprofit organization he created to help battle drugs and violence in schools. He also starred in the television movie Bound by Honor (1993), broadcast on CBS. He lives on a ranch when not filming. His birthday is March 10. I got this information from www.imbd.com
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